Merry Christmas

Dear Psycholizard,

Mommy and Daddy get so tired every Christmas, and they work so hard I never see them. I don't need any presents this Christmas, I just want Mommy and Daddy to stay home and get some rest. But I don't want to hurt Santa's feelings either.Your fan,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,

You seem like a very nice little girl, who means no harm, but you are playing with very dangerous and bad ideas. To explain, let me share the story of another little girl, like yourself, named Suzy, who lived not too long ago.

Suzy also asked that her parents buy her no presents and take some time off work to be together. Her parents liked the idea and agreed. Suzy then told all her friends, and they told all their friends. Soon everyone wanted to do without presents, and spend more time together for Christmas. They were so happy in their new plans that no one thought of Santa, his Elves, or the little Elf children.

When Santa's workshop heard of Suzy's plans, panic ran wild. None of the Elves had ever done any job other than making toys for the world's children. Nor had Santa ever thought of any other job for himself or his fifty reindeer than delivering toys. Without their toy making jobs Santa's Elves would be unable to feed their children. Santa decided to visit Suzy hoping she would change her Christmas plans.

So Suzy heard the clatter of tiny reindeer feet on her roof one late November night, and Santa arrived at her doorstep. After a pleasant greeting Santa begged her with tears in his eyes: "Please Suzy tell all your friends to ask for gifts this Christmas or my Elves will go hungry.".

And Suzy listened, because she really liked Santa, but thoughtlessly, (she was only a little girl), she replied; "Thank you Santa for all your nice gifts, but I like my parents so much I just want more time with them. Besides, I think you might be drinking. I think your Elves will be fine.".

Suzy was right that Santa had been drinking, but wrong about everything else. When Santa returned to Bavaria {that was where his toyshop was in those days). He found that his Elves had been talking to a new leader called the Antisanta. The Antisanta promised the Elves work making guns and bombs to attack the homes of the mean people that didn't want toys anymore. The Antisanta promised to feed their children on the spoils of war. The Elves had little choice but to work for the Antisanta.

Meanwhile Santa took a job delivering pizza with his reindeer. The tips however were poor since people thought he was too old for the job, and they thought the reindeer might damage the roof shingles. Then the bank repossessed his fifty reindeer.

They told Santa that they were sold to a zoo, but eight of them escaped and told Santa the awful truth. His reindeer were sold to a hunting farm where rich Republicans could shoot them for money. Flying reindeer make difficult targets, and some escaped to rejoin Santa.

Santa decided to break the law and save his remaining reindeer. He flew to the North Pole and set up a new base of operations, far from the banks power to seize his reindeer. But the Antisanta continued to hunt Santa.

Meanwhile the Antisanta's elves attacked Suzy's home town with the guns and bombs they built instead of toys. Suzy was separated from her parents in the confusion and never saw them again.

A great war ensued that only ended when an atomic bomb was detonated on the Antisanta's elves. In the peace terms the elves agreed to follow Santa forever, AND THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD AGREED TO ASK FOR TOYS.

Jessica, I hope this little story has shown you how wrong, and how selfish you have been, and that your foolish thoughts could threaten the whole world. I have just one more story to make this point, a story about the real meaning of Christmas.

Two thousand years ago there was a Man filled with love, just like you are Jessica, he didn't have toys, in fact all He owned was a pair of sandals and a blanket. He told the world that they could live without toys. When His teachers found out they hunted Him down and tortured Him to death.

Today, pictures of His tortured body are displayed in churches and schools to remind us all what Dick Cheney would do to us if he found us talking like you, Jessica.  Watch yourself.

Merry Christmas to all,
Psycholizard

Going Off My Medication

Going off My Medication

Johnny's running up and down the stairs,
He's jumping on the walls and dancing on the chairs.
He won't watch TV the way he's supposed to do,
He's climbing trees just like a monkey in the zoo.

Send an alarm across the Nation,
Johnny's gone off his medication.

Johnny and Sally, they broke out of school,
And they turned the town fountain to a wading pool.
Oh six years old is too young for failure,
I'm afraid he'll wind up living in a trailer.

Send an alarm across the nation,
Johnny's gone off his medication.

I'm gonna adopt a new attitude,
Throwing out my Prozac and my Quaalude.
Think it's time for me to come clean,
Spitting out my Zoloft and my Thorzine.

Send an alarm across the Nation,
I think I'm going of my medication.

I think I'm going off my medication,
I THINK I'M GOING OFF MY MEDICATION.
Send an alarm across the Nation,
I think I'm going off my medication.


WARNING:  The words of this song are not to be confused with medical advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8a2nIiO0Dk&list=TLikDX8TJUlZuKgbcA-OQRcLCkjadHIgIh

Lounge Lizard

-----
Lounge Lizard

Let me be your one hit wonder,
I promise I won't stay too long.
Before someone steals my thunder,
Let me sing my lounge lizard song.

Let me be your lounge lizard sweetheart,
Let me buy you another beer.
Though I be a little bit creepy,
Believe me darling you've nothing to fear.

We lounge lizards have three instincts,
So the reptile experts say.
First we head for for food and drinks,
Then it's sex and run away.

Let me be your lounge lizard sweetheart,
Let me slither up your leg.
'Cause I'm not too old too crawl,
And I'm not too young to beg.

So you're shocked at my suggestions,
That we make it in my car.
May I ask you just two questions,
What are you doing in my bar?

And might you be my lounge lizard sweetheart?
That's not such a bad thing to be.
Leastways you'll never be lonely,
When you lounge around with me.

Ukraine, Russia's Canada.

Imagine if Canada had a new Prime Minister unfriendly to the USA, that wished to join a defense pact with Russia, and fanatic French speakers proposed banning English in schools and government.  The US would be alarmed of course, and no matter what action we took, we would regard this as a horrible disaster, and if we invaded Canada, that would be absurd weakness rather than strength.

This is the current position of Russia in Ukraine, and thoughtful people understand why Barack Obama can't copy the absurd chest pumping paranoia of some Republican politicians.  Vladimir Putin might be a savage brute, but he finds himself on the brink of complete defeat, he believes Russia's enemies have seduced away a nation historically wed to his own, and like a wife beater, thinks violence will persuade, even as the savagery makes the split final.  Like a scorned husband, Putin blames the split on lies of the seducer, and not his own deficiencies.  Like a straying wife, the Ukraine wants the prosperity of the happy family next door, the European Union, far more than the EU and the US want to take her in.

We must remember that Russia cares very much about Ukraine, and most Americans likely couldn't find it on the map.  Russia now loses it's best friend in the world due to years of shockingly inept policy.  This result is not a US victory, there are only two groups that see this as a fight between the US and Russia, those who believe Russian propaganda, and those who believe US Conservative propaganda.  Both these groups believe in their own national humiliation and defeat.  These misguided ideas of national grievance mix the traditional witches brew of war.  Let the cool heads prevail.  They say Obama lacks passion, I thank God, and the electorate for that.

Moral and Military Quicksand

The media keeps repeating the misstatement that Saddam Hussein was Sunni, because his tribe was mostly Sunni Muslim.  He was in fact a Communist, who would kill anyone who tried to promote religion in Government, Sunni or Shi'ite, unless it served his purpose. For this he was condemned as attacking religious freedom, but as we survey the wreckage of Iraq today, the cruel logic of his actions is obvious.  That logic, and understanding of Iraq, made it possible for Saddam's Baathist party to run Iraq, something no party has succeeded at since.

The US doesn't understand Iraq, and though there was much disinterested idealism in our intervention there, the result was more cruel than leaving the Baathists in power.  Zealots with weapons, determined to save the world, threaten Iraq more than the cruelest gangster like Saddam.  Not long ago, we were the foreign zealots, if we can be forgiven for what we did, it would be for ignorance.  Nothing forgives intervention now.  We know the horror now. We can't fix this mess.

Dreamers

Dreamers

Moonlight on the water,
Soft like a kiss.
Waking or dreaming,
I felt nothing like this.

Your eyes tell the story,
This heart longs to hear.
To live in the glory,
We must cast away fear.

Just like dreamers do,
I fall in love with you,
Just like dreamers do.

Call me a dreamer,
But my dreams are more real,
Than the plots of the schemer,
Who ignores what we feel.

Touch our hands together,
We'll fly to the sky.
Live in the clouds.
And never ask why.

Just like dreamers do,
I fall in love with you,
Just like dreamers do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhUf19VYV0A&list=PLDR9H8BaYRUuYAqWIAC-JsX024Roy4cd_&index=10

The Alienation

For your information,
This dance is called The Alienation.
So take my software from your shelf,
And do the dance you do by yourself.
Do the alienation.

First you lock the doors to your house,
Then you put your hand on the mouse.
Click it to the East and click it to the West,
Click it on the one that you love the best.
Do the alienation.

At night I cruise the freeways alone,
Computer hooked to my satellite phone.
I send my love message on the internet,
The craziest dance that you'll ever get.
Do the Alienation.

Mamma's got one Dad's got one too,
I think I'll get a computer for you.
Won't we be happy won't it be fine,
When I show you the way we hook up on line.
Do the Alienation.

My system went down the other night.
When you tried to load me with a gigabyte.
My hard drive's empty my system's clear.
My hardware ready for your software.
Do the Alienation.

It is now safe to turn off your computer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIHINtPb4m8 The Alienation